Before and After

More than an year and a half ago I was writing an article about how the others perceive me (about how not to judge a book by its cover) and I was saying there that if you see me on the street you may not figure it out what kind of person I am, that I like to listen rock music, that I have a boyfriend etc. All of these without knowing that in less than 3 days I was going to breakup with the one I've spent almost six years of my life. Yap, life sucks sometimes but it goes on.

I've avoided to tell the others this tiny detail because people tend to judge you, like being or not single is a criteria for someone's sanity. My best friends know about it of course but they don't judge me. Up until recently. I don't know why I keep wondering but those things happen. I usually don't pay very much attention to my friends little malevolence and I do forgive them, putting friendship above everything. But you see, not everyone is made by the same pattern.

Is there anyone who can please tell me if there is a difference between before the breakup and after? How come am I supposed to be different now? What changed? It's probably allot easier to judge the others from that perspective (of their loneliness) as a cause of whatever bothers you at them. But isn't it also true that people are simply different, as in different individuals, different choices, different tastes?

People say all kind of stupid things when they're pissed of but sometimes they go too far. OK, I am single but I am not alone. I have my friends and my family. I have my hobbies: my books, my favourite movies and TV shows, my music, shopping sessions, games, best coffee in the city, I do meet interesting people almost every day, etc., and I do have my plans for the future, that means something to fight for, a purpose in life. And the only thing I wish for right now is to be happy. So you see I have every reason to be normal. But I don't envy anyone and I'm happy when my friends are happy. Then what does make me different? That I'm bitchy from time to time. Come on, who isn't? I'm not a saint that's true. But how can I bee envious on my best friend's happiness? That's stupid to think so. I'm fine and I don't need anyone's pity that's for sure. As for my personal life, I know that there is someone for me out there but the only thing I can do right now is to keep hoping that I'm going to meet him one day.

But please, don't judge me for that. I am more than a single lady. Try to see beyond the gossip. Pardon me for being that sincere.